I’m from North Shingal. My life was good before I got married. I had a good family, it was a good life. I had nine sisters and five brothers. I was the oldest, so I took care of the other kids.
I got married when I was 18 years old. In my culture, if you’re in love, a man marry you without the father’s approval if you are in love, but my father told my sisters and I ‘If any of you loves someone and he marries you without my permission, I will not accept that, and you will not be welcomed back to the family.’ But I was already in a relationship with someone for two years. When he wouldn’t approve, we decided to get married anyway.
My father was angry and decided to kill me because he was not happy about this. People close to our family went to my father and tried to tell him to approve our marriage, but my father said he wouldn’t accept that. I’m rejected. I’m not able to come back to my family again.
After that, I had my own life. God gave me kids and my life was normal. I have four children – three boys and one girl.
In 2014, I was with my husband and kids when we heard ISIS coming to our village. Everyone ran away. My husband said he would stay behind to protect our home, and that I should the take tkids to save them. Since that day, I haven’t heard anything from my husband. I believe he is dead.
We first fled to Syria but it also wasn’t safe, so we came back to Kurdistan.
I decided to try to leave the country again, to see if things were better, so we went to Turkey. Things were also very hard there. There was no water and we had no food. My youngest daughter was crying a lot. I didn’t have money, so I decided to go back to Iraq.
When we arrived at the border, we had no passports so they turned us away. I tried four times to leave Turkey – twice the police took us at checkpoints as we were crossing by land. The other times, we attempted cross by water, but the police took us when we were in the boat.
When we tried to flee by boat the second time, many people told us we shouldn’t go – the weather was about to change; the winter storms were coming. But I had no choice. I thought if we left it would be better; my children were suffering.
It was midnight. In the first thirty minutes, the weather changed, and the storm came. The motor of the boat stopped working, and we didn’t know what was happening as couldn’t speak the smuggler’s language. A ship came and took us from the small boat and saved our lives. Then the police arrested us. Telling my story can still make me feel sad and worried about what’s going to happen next.
In the GROW program, I listened to Tutapona and put everything they taught me in to my mind. I am feeling better, and I know that I can now do this alone. I can provide for my family and make a good future for them.
-Gilya*
Kurdistan, Iraq
Because of the generosity of people like you, Gilya has found emotional healing. BUT there are thousands of others just like Gilya with stories that are yet to end with hope. Help Tutapona bring hope and healing by donating today.
*Name has been changed to protect individual and her family.