Candice Lassey is our Field Communications Officer in Uganda. She’s been working with Tutapona in Uganda for 3 years and has met so many incredible people in that time. We often say we have so much to learn from people in these difficult circumstances; they show resilience, courage and real love in the face of adversity, and Candice has been blessed to be a part of these journeys by being able to give them a voice when they feel overwhelmed or, ‘stuck’.
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I’ve sat in hundreds of interviews, listening as people recall war, having their freedoms stripped away, and the never ending unknown looming before them. How they ended up here, with me, after an escape that seemed improbable, is a miracle.
I’ve walked away from these interviews, amazed at the stories of what they survived, and wondering, would I?
If I was faced with the same circumstances, would I be as resilient. If I was faced with the same level of loss, would I be able to maintain hope?
If I was forced to choose between dying together, or living apart, could I even make that decision?
A beautiful mother of 6, who I interviewed, had been forced to make these very choices - they had run, family scattered amidst gunfire in their village and somehow, miraculously, were reunited on this side of the border. And as she came to the end of her story of hope, she proclaimed “And now we are here, in a place that has saved our lives. But we are stuck. We can’t leave. We can’t return to look for missing loved ones. We can’t go back for our belongings. We can’t have the freedoms we had back home. We are stuck, but we are alive.”
That phrase has stayed with me; a bitter-sweet resonance.
“We are stuck, but we are alive”.
Now, it’s a sentiment that carries more emotion today than it ever has.
Although it’s in no way the same, there are some striking similarities between the plight of a refugee, and those of us who are in isolation in our homes. Those of us who are forcibly separated from our families. Those of us who feel stuck, unable to leave.
Today is day 67 of a government enforced lockdown here in Uganda. As I’ve sat in thoughtful contemplation, I’ve been struck with the irony of where I am. An Australian in Uganda who spends the bulk of my time interviewing refugees who are forcibly on lock down in Uganda. This is not my home, and I can’t get home. Our cars are banned and our airports are closed. We rarely leave our homes because it’s not always safe to walk. There is a military enforced curfew in place and borders are shut down; no one in, no one out. I’m separated from those who could comfort me the most, and the freedoms and liberties we once had are put on hold.
“We are stuck, but we are alive”.
Through all of this, I find myself still thinking of that beautiful mother. Despite her hardships, she has maintained joy. Her heart, her face, her words radiated it. She has decided that it is one thing that cannot be taken away from her. Oh, if she could see my pantry, stocked with pasta and rice and cans of food, she would probably laugh! If I told her how my house for one is twice the size of her house for 7, or how my groceries are delivered to my gate, and my survival strategy is JUST.STAY.HOME, she would take my face in her hands and say earnestly “We thank God that He has given you so much!”
Without a hint of jealousy, just pure joy.
Her approach, her entire mentality around being ‘stuck’ convicts me, challenges me! I had wondered how on earth she could remain so positive despite her situation, and all along the answer was right in front of me - an utmost reliance on God, and good mental health practice. She has chosen to focus on the positive. She told me how, despite their lack, she has taken in children whose parents were killed. She is determined to practice generosity and kindness, to focus on how she can bless others - all things she had learned in our Tutapona program!
“I also learned that I need to have trust and have someone that I can share things with when I’m in trouble. I learned to plan things that will help me and my family. And besides that, I learned to be patient. I no longer let stress remain in my heart. Life is like that, you are in this world, you need to go with the challenges.”
Life is like that, you need to go with the challenges.
This month is mental health month. Pretty fitting, if you ask me, considering the highlighted need to prioritize good mental health practices. I’m taking my cue from this beautiful mama. I’m focussing on the positive. I’m practicing kindness and generosity. I’m finding a trusted person I can talk to. I am learning to be patient. And I’m grateful.
I may feel stuck, but I thank God that I am alive.
- Candice (Tutapona Uganda Communications Officer)